Day 11 and 12: What's going on?

Settle in - she's a long one!

I no sooner write in my last post how I seem not to be hungry, when I start to get hungry. Really hungry. Ravenous. It's Friday late afternoon and I can't figure out what's going on. I skipped my usual Friday workout to finish Mother's Day favors for church that I've left for the last minute, so it can't be that I haven't replenished energy spent. I'm baffled and try to ignore that I'm hungry. Grrrrr.

My IsaLean Savory Tomato Soup Mix has arrived!! Someone else had warned me that there's not much taste. I'll admit, I haven't tried it on it's own but used it to make chili Friday night. We loved it!! The recipe said it made 4 servings but it easily made 8 healthy-sized portions. The chili seems to keep me full which makes me happy. No one wants to feel hungry...that's dieting and that's not what I'm doing! I'm reclaiming my health through good nutrition. Losing weight is my prize.

By the time I go to bed I'm feeling ravenous again. What the heck?! I go to bed early in anticipation in my first 5K in goodness knows how long. I'm kind of nervous. That part of my brain that keeps me down and says, "You can't do it." is pretty active and tries to keep me up and convince me not to go in the morning. I fall asleep.

Saturday morning the doubter in me is pretty strong. My leg does ache, the one I've been going to physical therapy for but the part of me that wants to live a healthy, active lifestyle is stronger than the doubter. And then my "Aha!" moment. Now the hunger and tiredness make sense. Hello, Aunt Flo. How nice of you to show up unannounced this morning! Apparently, I've been feeling the need for extra calories because it's that lovely time of the month. I never keep track on a calendar or anything like that. I always know when it's time. I have cravings galore and I'm the bitchiest person on the planet. But since on Isagenix I haven't had cravings or mood swings so there were no signs. Interesting!

I feel like crap at the race. Full of doubt, lacking energy, and in pain. I do my best to mobilize the joints that give me problems and start the race with a fairly pronounced limp. By Mile 1 the limp seems to be subsiding (or I'm getting used to the pain). The timer tells me I've reached Mile 1 at 11:44. I think he has it wrong. If I hadn't said it before, I'll say it now. I am NOT fast! My nickname is Turtle. There is a reason for this. But I do like to run, so I do...even though I'm slow.

I'm enjoying the course, a residential area with gently rolling hills. It's in the 50's and overcast, perfect for running.  There are a ton of kids. I cheer them on. At mile 2 the timer tells me I'm at 22:04. Obviously this guy has some Bailey's in his coffee. I've calculated it will take me 26 minutes to hit 2 miles! By 2 1/2 miles I'm feeling spent. If that timer guy is right, then I went out too fast. Not impossible, but I've done a ton of races in my lifetime and know better. I'm still anticipating finishing around 39:00.

The voice in my head that says "I can't", "Just walk" and "Back down" shows up often and is very persistent.  If you run by me, you'll probably hear me mutter, "Shut up" and "I've got this". I do not walk and press on. At mile 3 I have nothing to give finish the final 0.1 mile faster than my current pace. Until I see my husband and daughter. I pick up speed and cross the finish at 36:28 - 2 1/2 minutes faster than I've ever run in my 40's! I'm proud of myself and limp to the runner's buffet to get my daughter some of the brownies, soft pretzels and other goodies they have out. Me? I enjoy a Want More Energy and IsaLean shake. Heaven.

I spend most of the rest of the day battling the hungries but I stay true to my Isagenix program. I need to be better prepared next month. I'm not craving any one thing in particular but I feel like I could eat everything in an attempt to identify if there is something that *would* satisfy me. This feeling carried into today. Which was dangerous because it's Mother's Day and we're heading to a buffet.

Yes, the same buffet I was at last weekend. The choices are somewhat better but not by much. My choices include a huge plate of peel n' eat shrimp followed by a huge plate of turkey breast and plain salad. I was full and the only person at the table who didn't stuff her/himself. I had told someone else this week that going out to eat for a celebration was about celebrating people, not the food and I took that to heart today.  I used my time to enjoy spending time with my mom and kids. The desserts didn't look appetizing to me which made them very easy to pass up. I treated myself to an IsaDelight when I got home.

And then I took a nap. Apparently even Isagenix can't beat out all the tryptophan in a humongous plate of turkey!  I'm looking forward to getting back to my regular routine tomorrow.