That's one of my favorite sayings: Fall down 9 times, get up 10. It means you should never quit, never stop trying. You never know when you get up - you might just stay there!
But this isn't about staying up. This is about falling down. And certainly getting back up.
I've arrived home after a wonderful 8 day vacation with my family at Stone Harbor, NJ. I had intentions of relaxing my nutrition program a bit and fully enjoying myself while still keeping up with a demanding exercise routine. What happened was a realization that I truly am addicted to sugar and other "bad" carbs and my Isagenix program is responsible for my health and well-being.
My first four days were terrific! Followed my nutrition program, ate all my calories, ran 9 miles Sunday, walked 5 miles Monday and biked 14, walked 3 miles Tuesday and participated in my own duathlon on Wednesday running 3.1 miles for legs 1 and 3 and biking 15.25 miles for the middle leg. Plus I worked on my big girl push-ups (still at 6) and chin-ups (no comment. But I'm TRYING!!). I was in heaven with how I felt and what I was getting accomplished! I enjoy a single scoop of ice cream with my kids and feel no ill effects. Happiness exudes from me.
Wednesday we celebrated my daughter's birthday at a seafood restaurant. I was so proud of myself for ordering sensibly (lump crab on a bed of salad with vinegar and oil). Because I had competed my duathlon earlier that day I decided to enjoy my daughter's celebration and have some cake. Plus, I had no ill effects from my ice cream last night, right? So I had my first slice of white sugar, white flour and heavy cream frosting in over 4 months. Then I had my second. Hey, I ran 6 miles and biked 15, right?! Then I had my third. And the excuses kept coming.
Once back at our place I went into full binge mode with the high-glycemic snacks: pretzels - an entire bag. Corn stick snacks - half a bag. Rice stick snacks - half a bag. I ran out of snacks. I went to bed without taking my awesome Ageless Essentials with Product B. I felt really bad about myself. Good thing it was only one day right?
Good intentions at the start of Thursday. Had my shake and a nice long walk. Why not coffee? I really do miss coffee. More than wine!! Shake for lunch. Then lunch. Then a snack. Huge dinner. Ice cream. Carb snacking before bed. Which includes the 1/4 lb of red Swedish fish I bought, 1/4 lb of red licorice laces and 1/4 lb of licorice all-sorts. Now I'm not even trying to get to bed early. I'm up until 1:00 a.m. This feels bad but I can't shake it.
Friday I skip the shakes but do manage to go for a run with my hubby. It was my slowest run in 3 months. And shortest run in 2 months. Hubby pushes me to do my strength exercises and helps me with chin-ups. I feel a bit better so I reward myself with a cup of coffee. I do a shake convincing myself that I'm back on track because I love where I am now. But last night's sugar rush has taken it's grip. I don't argue when hubby suggests a 1/2-gallon of ice cream at home instead of a single cone out. I oblige by picking it up and throwing in pretzels and salted peanuts. I help by finishing off three bowls of ice cream.
Okay, that's enough confessing. It goes on from there and while it doesn't get worse, it doesn't get better either. Yesterday, Sunday, we had my daughter's family party. I consciously allowed myself a day of eating whatever with no guilt. I skipped my run. I just felt so down. I actually couldn't wait until Monday, to start a two day cleanse and get all this ickyness out of me.I wanted the old me back. Not the old, old me but the one who was living her life the way she really wanted.
Here are two observations I made about me. This is not a medical claim. Isagenix does not claim to cure, prevent, diagnose or treat any ailment or disease. But from a personal standpoint, this is what I observed with my body: Before I started with Isagenix I had to take aspirin daily for my head discomfort. This went on for the five weeks prior to adding the cleansing and nutrition program into my life. I also had extreme swelling in my right foot and ankle. My doctors always blew this off as nothing to worry about and I had basically learned to live with a swollen lower leg. Two days after starting Isa I no longer had any of these symptoms. One day after returning to my old habits I had both symptoms return. Hmmmm.
The most positive thing to come out of this bump in my road is that I am able to let go of the guilt. I am able to fall down and get up again. I'm brushing myself off right now, in fact, drinking my Cleanse for Life and looking forward to moving on. Fall down a zillion times, get up a zillion and one... with Isagenix in hand.
Peace,
Susan
Susan,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing these struggles. I, too, am frustrated by my "addiction" to sugar and "bad" foods. As a recovering drug addict, I KNOW that addiction is marked by obsession and compulsion; that once I start, I cannot stop; that one is too many and a thousand is never enough. I know all this, but somehow I still think it is unfair. I gave up drugs and alcohol and cigarettes...why do I have to give up sugar and caffeine too? I am familiar with the consequences: I feel bad about myself after gorging on these foods, and worse, I feel lethargic and unmotivated to exercise. I quit smoking in order to be a runner, but when I eat poorly, I cannot run. I tire easily. But still, I think it's unfair.
So, it is my plan to apply the principles of Narcotics Anonymous to my Isagenix plan. These principles are honesty, open mindedness, and willingness. I will be honest to myself and to others about where I am, I will be open to suggestions they give, and I will be willing to do something different. And the most important part? I will do it "just for today". If I think about the rest of my life, I will fail. Thank you for showing us that even with a setback, we can try again.
And by the way, what a crazy, intense, and inspirational workout plan that is! Are you training for a triatholon? Thanks for the hope!
I plan on full disclosure on this blog. I have to. I was in Overeaters Anonymous for a year and while it didn't work for me (I spent the entire year trying to please my sponsor rather than work the program for myself) I still use many of the principals.
DeleteMy working out is insane, sometimes bordering on obsession! But there was a time when I hated to exercise so now I do what feels good which includes a lot of miles! I don't even consider it exercise. I like to challenge myself and test limits. It's a nice reminder that "I can", especially when I used to think of myself as such a failure.